We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
There are leaves in my underwear?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
