there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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