Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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