I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
