the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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