Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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