I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
