is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize