Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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