so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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