just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize