were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's shark week go big or go home
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
