Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
