if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
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