I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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