Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
send nudes
from the living room?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
