I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
