when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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