he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
