oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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