So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
