it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
