There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
