I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
