we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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