honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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