i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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