You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
