I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
