Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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