alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
