isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just found a bag of teeth...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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