i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
