BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize