Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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