remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
pop tarts are not kleenex
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
