i permit you to call me
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
