Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize