so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
