I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
