..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize