That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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