I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I think your dad took our porno
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
