We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
