I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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