This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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