I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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