I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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