we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
