All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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