You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
