Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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