My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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