I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
