Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize