Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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