Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
you never un-have a 4some
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize