Tell her she can't have a vagina
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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