I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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