He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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