honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
