yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
