I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
